I went to a funeral.

Baby Oisin Peter only lived an hour. Integration has made me a bit more confident about attending funerals where there won't be any psalms or hymns. This was a very thoughtful one, two families had put it together honouring the traditional Irish Catholic expectations of some and the disorientated, former Catholic Scouse concerns of others. The person I assumed was a priest, I found out later was a deacon. I don't know exactly what a deacon is (apart from blue ones) but this was certainly a very humane deacon. He explained everything clearly. I thought that this was for the benefit of any stray Protestant who had appeared among the congregation, but it turned out that it was because this was not a funeral mass as the local congregation would be expecting. He told us the heartbreaking but lovely details of Oisin's hour, that his mother Sinead got to hold him and his father Daniel got to read him a story. He explained that the Peter of Oisin's middle name was not the usual St Peter, but a very different St Peter, Peter Parker, Spider man, as selected by Oisin's brother Ollie. Ollie explained to his parents that he felt Oisin in his heart. The deacon explained all the candles, and the holy water and the incense. The incense was my undoing. As soon as it was lit, probably the only Protestant there, me, succumbed to an uncontrollable fit of coughing. I know about incense, and I had my menthol with me, so there wasn't too much of a disruption. Sinead and Daniel minded us all as we followed the wee coffin from the church. Blinnia, Oisin's granny was stoical and focused on Ollie, and grandfather Dennis was just distraught. I found out later all the added complications of trying to register a death on a bank holiday weekend, the real intrusion of measures to cover for the fact that the obstetrician had gone on holiday immediately after the birth and death. Uncle Jack managed beautifully during the funeral, and he's been out managing the aftermath by hacking the hedges ever since. It was a lovely, gentle funeral, but it is very hard to bear.