Funerals when you're old

I saw a death notice for the husband of a friend just the day before the funeral. The death had been latterly sudden, despite a lengthy illness, and mutual acquaintances probably didn't think I would arrive. That's because I have been out of commission for so long, and have kept up with almost nobody since 1st September 1994. But I have more power over my time now, and of course I wanted to be there. My friend and I had shared outsider status where we were long ago, and that is a strong bond. We had also shared secretly blasphemous views about certain others and knowledge of a few bad deeds done by otherwise very, very good people. The loss was a sad one, leaving my friend very alone and I expected sadness to my main takeaway from my trip to the funeral. But, as I am discovering, when you are old, the funerals you are at are of your contemporaries, and you get to see all your other contemporaries there, so a funeral has a very warm and comforting social side to it. I felt very lucky that my friend, to whom I have certainly not been the recent or immediate support, living so far away, wanted a visit on the evening in the funeral day, and we had a grand old chat about old and complex times. Meeting another friend, now very, very settled in the most rural and family friendly circumstances, reminded us both with a bit of a shock of our scandalous goings on when crises of the heart afflicted us both at once a very long time ago. We had coped magnificently at the time. Then there were the two friends who took me in and minded me for the night. They are the most comfortable people to visit, truly welcoming and seem to run their home as a prospective bed and breakfast, the very best of bed and breakfasts. They are also brainy, well read, full of challenge and ideas as well as some lovely gossip. Just perfect.

I'm left with the very strange feeling of having had a really enjoyable weekend away at a funeral. And analysing how that happened has focused me on funerals to come. Of course the experience should, and I hope it will, motivate me to be in better touch with friends before we all die, but also makes me realise, from now on, funerals will be catchup time. Until it's mine of course.